Divorce mediation is meant to be a constructive, efficient, and less adversarial alternative to litigation. The goal is to reach fair agreements that allow both parties to move forward with confidence and clarity. However, the success of your mediation experience heavily depends on the skill and conduct of your divorce mediation lawyer. If the lawyer lacks proper preparation, communication, or neutrality, the process can become more frustrating than helpful. In this article, we’ll explore common signs that your divorce mediation lawyer may be making mistakes—and what you can do about it.
How To Tell If Your Divorce Mediation Lawyer is Making Mistakes: 7 Tell-Tale Signs
1. Not Knowing When to Mediate
Timing matters in divorce mediation. If your divorce mediation lawyer pushes for mediation before all necessary financial disclosures are made or when tensions are too high for productive dialogue, it could derail the process. A seasoned mediation lawyer understands when the parties are emotionally and logistically ready to engage in meaningful negotiations.
Red flag: You feel rushed into mediation without fully understanding the issues or gathering relevant documents.
2. Starting with a Non-Negotiable Position
Mediation relies on flexibility and compromise. If your mediation lawyer leads with rigid demands or encourages either party to adopt an uncompromising stance, they may be turning the process into a confrontation rather than a collaboration. Mediation isn’t about winning; it’s about resolution.
Red flag: The divorce mediation lawyer refuses to entertain reasonable suggestions or insists on an all-or-nothing outcome.
3. Failing to Listen
A good mediation lawyer listens carefully—to both parties’ concerns and goals. If your mediation lawyer dominates the conversation or dismisses the input of either of you, they may miss critical opportunities to build mutual understanding and reach agreements.
Red flag: You leave sessions feeling unheard or sidelined in decisions that affect your future.
4. Not Sending Briefs from Mediation Sessions
Clear communication between mediation sessions is key. Mediation lawyers should document progress, outline unresolved issues, and send briefs summarizing discussions to keep everyone aligned. Without this follow-through, misunderstandings can arise and momentum can be lost.
Red flag: You’re unsure what was decided in the last session, and there’s no written summary to reference.
5. Not Doing Their Homework
Effective mediation requires more than just showing up. Your divorce mediation lawyer should be well-versed in the facts of your case, California family law, and both parties’ personal priorities. If they appear unprepared or unfamiliar with your case details, that’s a serious concern.
Red flag: Your mediation lawyer fumbles basic facts about your finances, children, or previous discussions.
6. Failing to Prepare
Preparation is essential for every mediation session. That includes having all necessary financial documents, knowing the legal implications of proposed solutions, and strategizing in advance. An unprepared lawyer can waste time and compromise your negotiating power.
Red flag: You are scrambling for documents last minute or surprised by new information during sessions.
7. They Are Being Biased
Mediation is built on neutrality and fairness. If your mediation lawyer is showing favoritism, behaving aggressively, or seems intent on “taking sides,” it can damage trust and make reaching a balanced agreement much more difficult.
Red flag: You notice the mediator or attorney leaning in favor of one party or expressing personal judgments.
Why Work with Ewing Mediation & Family Law: A Trusted Divorce Mediation Lawyer in The South Bay
At Ewing Mediation & Family Law, we believe divorce mediation should be a thoughtful, respectful, and solution-oriented process. With over 30 years of experience, Attorney Deborah Ewing provides the knowledge, care, and legal expertise needed to guide you through even the most complex family law issues.
When you partner with us, you can expect:
- Thorough preparation and case understanding
- Compassionate yet strategic legal advice
- Clear communication and documentation
- A fair and neutral approach to all parties involved
- An unwavering commitment to your best interests
If you’re concerned that your current mediation process is not being handled effectively—or if you’re ready to begin divorce mediation the right way—contact Ewing Mediation & Family Law today. We’re here to help South Bay families find clarity, peace, and a path forward.